Loneliness

What it is

Loneliness isn’t the same as being alone. Some people are happy with a lot of time alone, while others feel lonely despite a busy social life. It often shows up during life changes like moving, a breakup, bereavement, becoming a parent, retiring, or starting at a new job or university.

Long-term loneliness can affect your mental and physical health, and it can make it harder to reach out, which can feel like a trap. Starting small really does help.

Common signs

Everyone’s experience is different. You might notice some of these:

• Feeling that no one really knows or understands you
• Feeling left out or on the outside
• Having people around but no one to talk to about how you feel
• Losing confidence in social situations, or avoiding them
• Feeling low, anxious or tired more often

Things to try now

Different things help different people. Try one or two and see what works for you.

1. Start with small connectionsA chat with a neighbour, a message to an old friend or a “thank you” to a shop assistant all count. Small moments of connection add up.
2. Do things around othersJoin something built around a shared interest, like a walking group, choir, class, sports club or volunteering. The activity takes the pressure off talking.
3. Try online communities, with careModerated peer-support communities (like Mind’s Side by Side) can be a good place to be understood.
4. Notice unhelpful predictionsLoneliness can make us expect rejection. A thought record helps you test those thoughts.
5. Be kind to yourself in the meantimeLoneliness is a signal, not a personal failing. Look after yourself while you work on connecting.

Tools that can help

When to get support

If loneliness is making you feel low or anxious for a while, talk to your GP. Many GP practices have social prescribers (sometimes called link workers) who can connect you with local groups and activities. If you’re over 55, The Silver Line (Age UK) offers a friendly chat any time of day or night.

Who can help

Opening times can change. Check each service’s website for the latest details.

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