Grief & loss

What it is

We most often talk about grief after a death, but it can also follow the end of a relationship, losing a job, a health diagnosis, a miscarriage or the loss of a pet. Grief rarely moves in neat stages. It tends to come in waves, and it can be set off by anniversaries, songs, places or seemingly nothing at all.

Over time most people find that grief doesn’t so much shrink as life grows around it. For some, grief stays very intense and gets in the way of daily life for a long time. Specialist support can help with this.

Common signs

Everyone’s experience is different. You might notice some of these:

• Sadness, longing and crying, sometimes unexpectedly
• Shock, numbness or feeling like it isn’t real
• Anger, guilt or going over “what if” questions
• Exhaustion, and trouble sleeping or eating
• Finding it hard to concentrate
• Feeling alone, even with people around

Things to try now

Different things help different people. Try one or two and see what works for you.

1. Let the feelings comeTry not to judge what you feel. There’s no “should” in grief.
2. Talk about themSaying their name and sharing memories with people who knew them can be comforting.
3. Write to themSome people find it helps to write a letter to the person who died. The journal has prompts for this.
4. Look after the basicsGrief is physically draining. Eat something, rest when you can, and get a little fresh air.
5. Plan for hard daysAnniversaries, birthdays and holidays can be especially painful. It can help to plan how you’ll spend them, and who with.

Tools that can help

When to get support

Cruse Bereavement Support offers free support to anyone who is grieving. Talk to your GP if grief is making it very hard to function, you feel stuck months later, or you’re struggling with low mood or thoughts of not wanting to live.

Who can help

Opening times can change. Check each service’s website for the latest details.

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