Loneliness

Loneliness is the feeling of distress that comes when your need for social connection is not being met. You can feel lonely even when you are surrounded by people — if those connections feel shallow or one-sided. And you can feel perfectly content spending time alone if you feel genuinely connected to the people in your life.

Loneliness is not weakness or a personal failing. It is a signal — like hunger — that something important is missing. But it can be a hard signal to act on, because loneliness can make you feel like reaching out is pointless, or that you will be a burden to others.

In the UK, around 3.8 million adults said they were always or often lonely before the pandemic — a figure that has grown since. Loneliness is linked to depression, anxiety, and even poorer physical health over time.

Common signs loneliness is affecting your wellbeing:
- Feeling invisible, overlooked, or like nobody truly knows you
- Spending much more time alone than you would like
- Struggling to remember the last time you had a meaningful conversation
- Feeling like an outsider in groups, even familiar ones
- Using TV, social media, or alcohol to fill the silence
- Low motivation, low mood, or a general flatness

Some things that can help:

Start small. Rebuilding connection does not have to mean big social events. A conversation with a neighbour, a message to an old friend, or a regular coffee with one person is a meaningful start.

Get out of the house. Libraries, community centres, walking groups, local classes — being around people in low-pressure settings can ease loneliness even before real friendships form.

Volunteer. Giving your time to others is one of the most reliably mood-lifting activities around — and it creates regular contact with people who share a purpose.

Try a befriending service. Organisations like Re-engage and Silver Line specifically help people who are isolated, including older adults.

Notice your social media use. Online connection can feel like company but often increases feelings of comparison and disconnection. A real phone call or in-person conversation tends to help more.

When to seek help:

If loneliness is contributing to depression or anxiety, please speak to your GP. Sometimes loneliness is a symptom of something deeper — social anxiety, grief, or depression — that benefits from professional support.

UK support:
Samaritans — 116 123 (free, 24/7 — not just for crisis, but for anyone who needs to talk)
Re-engage — 0800 716 543 (befriending for older people)
Silver Line — 0800 470 8090 (helpline and friendship for older people, 24/7)
Campaign to End Loneliness — www.campaigntoendloneliness.org

Sources: NHS (nhs.uk), Mind.org.uk, Campaign to End Loneliness, Mental Health Foundation